God knows of our worth and loves us in spite of our sins and wrong doing. He knows just how great we are, even when we don't know our selves.
These last couple weeks has really been a doosey on our family. A man we all loved and admired took his own life.
What was he thinking? What about his poor kids, his poor brothers and sisters, his poor MOTHER!?
As a mother, loosing one of my children is my biggest fear! How could such a sweet lady be faced with such a huge tragedy? So much was racing through my mind that I completely forgot to think of how he was feeling. How terrible it is that he felt so low and little to take his own life. I can't imagine ever being that low.
After a long restless night for his family, my uncle was declared brain dead. The families said their goodbyes and were sent home to plan a funeral.
I know funerals are never planned but you can at least plan on them when that person is OLDER like 90! Not 61! How do you plan a funeral like that?
With the faith of God.
In order for our family to make it through this tragedy we had to have faith in our Heavenly Father that Uncle Scotty would be ok and that he was welcomed into heaven with open, forgiving arms. My cousin said it perfectly, "I'm sure Granddad gave Scott a hug, kicked his butt then said lets so fishing." And I'm sure that is exactly how it was. He wasn't sent away from Heaven he was welcomed and he will now get the help he should have asked for here on earth. He now knows of the worth he is, the worth he was to his kids, his family, his community, his Father in Heaven.
Depression and anxiety are a sickness. A sickness the devil thrives on. He sees someone struggling and sends that person more and more negative thoughts. He did this to Scott for so many years. He saw his weaknesses and built upon them. I had an institute teacher say once, "All negative thoughts and feelings are of the devil. Our loving Heavenly father would NEVER wants us to feel that way." I truly believe this, he would never want us to feel that way, NEVER!
I wish there could have been more I personally could have done to help him but he wasn't in the right state of mind to ask for help. I COMPLETELY look up to my Grandma Carma and her children for the strength they have been for each other. I also admire Scott's kids for stepping up to the plate and doing their best in such a hard time. Although we had such a terrible thing to happen, it has brought my family closer together and taught us to lean on each other.
I will miss you Scott, we all will. Especially on Sundays, each week as we pass grandma's house on the way to church I see that your car isn't there and think, "Well Scott isn't taking gma to church, he must be working." I loved how nice and kid your were to my girls, even when they were teaching your in church when you would fell asleep. Im sorry I couldn't have helped you more, but I'm so very glad we have such a forgiving Heavenly Father that will help us whenever we need him, and he's right by your side now. Rest in Peace!
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